marco baylon

i lost my pen again. i just bought it yesterday. don’t worry. i think i still remember what i needed to know.

i was drinking my milk for the morning and was channel surfing (it’s not really surfing coz it’ just 6 channels, whatever) and i came across these two “preachers”. the first one was caucasian and he was doing the “spirit force” thing. i don’t remember what its called, but it’s when the people will walk up to the pastor/songleader/preacher guy and with just a wave of his hand, they collapse to the floor. without even touching them. heck, it’s so powerful that even the bouncer-type big guys who are supposed to help the people who fainted get up, fall down as well. and the preacher goes “It’s not because of me, but because of all of you”. something to the effect that the force is strong when everyone is helping him in i don’t know what way. why did i say this? i don’t know. it just struck me. what in the world is that? if i am a non believer in Christianity, i’d call that nonsense, a show, an act. but i am a Christian. and they are professing that they too are followers of Christ. Why does it look weird to me then? Aren’t we all just brothers and sisters? i remember though, one time i learned in my church that those things aren’t supposed to happen. the Holy Spirit is not supposed to may you feel weak, but empower you. or some other reason i can’t remember now. whatever it is, it convinced me that those aren’t… right. real. no. i don’t know for sure if they are genuine. i just don’t mind them. let them do their business. but in case that they are practicing wrong Christianity, how will i know that i am not? who is wrong and who is right? i can say that i am right coz they are weird to me. but is that enough? no. studying philosophy as a Computer Science major for example, seems weird to me, but if i examine it closely, it’s not so bad after all. that was hasty. that was all too hasty. i need more time to think…

i said two preachers. i saw the second one, filipino guy, just before i turned the TV off. he was saying “i don’t need to know how this watch works or how it’s made, i just use it. i don’t need to know how a 90yr old woman in Sarah gave birth, i just believe it”. something is wrong here. . . here goes the intermediary type of thinking (i’m beginning to see that every mode of thought should have an intermediary… but then, that would be put to the test later). it’s important for the Christian to have faith. in fact, it’s the only most important thing, along with love. you cannot have faith in God and not love Him/others, at the same time you cannot just keep on loving others without faith in God (if you love God, that automatically says you have faith in Him). anyway, faith is important, very important. in Ephesians 2: 8 it says: it is by grace you have been saved, through faith….” faith, i cannot stress it enough, is important. but what kind of faith does God want? to one extreme it can be blind faith. that’s a redundancy, we have faith because we cannot see. so it’s just complete total faith in God… now that i think about it, nothing wrong with that. in fact, that’s wonderful! if i can have 100% faith in God then my life would be perfect! can you see it? walking in the road that God wants me to be in. being where He wants me to be, when He wants me. in His perfect plan. wonderful. this question immediately comes to mind: is my faith right? am i putting my trust on God? how will i know what to do? when and where?…

just one last thing, if i don’t need to know how watches work or how 90yr old women can give birth. then why am i still in school? too keep it short (i have to go to class) faith without works is dead faith. you gotta know what to do. how to do it. what if my faith in God calls me to be a watch repair man in Timbuktu? can my faith just miraculously let me learn how to fix them? .. miracles happen.. but i don’t think my God works that way. gotta work for it. gotta learn. i can’t believe im saying this. gotta go to class.

why is it that when i get a great chain of thoughts, it’s always somewhere far from a pc (or anything i can write with easily for that matter)? or, why is it when my fingers are resting on the keyboard, my mind does as well? or maybe its just that, you can’t force those kind of things to get inside your head. i used to have a palm organizer, it would have helped if i didn’t sell it (i needed the money… for what? i can’t remember). it was hard to write in those things anyway. i see my problem, im lazy and i have a bad memory. but not too much. i have pieces of scratch paper in the car and some pens i (lost) leave behind the car that more often turns up on some good ideas. i think that’s it. fate must like romance: scratch paper and lost pencil is still much more romantic than a piece of hardware and a stylus. what am i saying? i don’t believe in fate. but i do believe in romance. anyway, i need a laptop. if you’re reading this, will you give me one? it should be internet ready. and while your at it, put in unlimited internet connection as well. that way i can blog all i want, anytime i want. except when i’m driving, but i’ll even try that for kicks.