marco baylon

im glad today’s quiet time/devotional isn’t that much hardcore into insights as much as the previous ones. even throughout the day, i found myself repeating what i’ve learned, trying as much as i can to remember the points for each day so that i will make a habit out of it. and it has in a way weighed heavy on my head, but has definitely made my soul glad.

“If confession does not come out of repentance, it is merely admission, and not true confession.”

great insight, how many times have i confessed out of mere admission? almost all the time i think. especially those sins that just pops up frequently. parang “sorry Lord, nagkamali uli ako” as if He doesnt already know. of course there were times when i would really cry out in sorrow to God, and those were the times when i would really feel God’s love shown through His forgiveness (because God shows love to us in many different ways).

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” -James 5:16

thank you Lord for confirming to us that you are blessing our weekly accountability. i pray that through this, not only will we be healed of our physical afflictions, but also bring healing to our souls.

i wanted to write about 1 peter, you know, be all biblical and scholarly and all that.

but God, in his immeasurable grace, decided not to bless me with any worthwhile insight in that framework. but prompted me to stay real instead.

again with the superlatives: “cast ALL you cares on Him…” – 1 peter 5:7a

all? this makes my head hurt just as much as “DOES NOT sin”. what does it mean Lord to cast all my cares to you? how do you do that? i guess.. its just, letting God take care of things as they come. oh yes they will come, things that need to be taken care of.

“.. for He cares for you” – 1 peter 5:7b

cares!? present tense! He already is taking care of you! of me!

!!!

oh the many ways He takes care of us that we take for granted!

!!!

and God is saying: sige lang! hey bigay mo lang lahat, akong bahala!

wut??

hahahaha. this is a journal of infinite surprised reactions!

im just blown away Lord with just how much youve given and still continue on giving us.. from my first post up to now.. you saved me, not only from death, but from many things in life. you loved me! even when i was not worthy to be loved! you loved me first! you promise us that if we abide in you we can live a life of no guilt! no stupid mistakes! and now?? you tell us to cast ALL our (other) cares on you? for you care for us??

how can one not fall in love with you Lord?

how can one fall out of love with you?

…

its already too much Lord… thank you.. thank you…
but knowing you, and being the God that you are.. i know that you arent done yet.

i wont try to find out why anymore.. even that one, ill cast to you.

i dont know what to say Lord.. thank you.. thank you for caring for me..

(pa hug nalang Lord…)

Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

Casting…i remember the disciples and even the fishermen that i see. What does it take to cast? It takes a couple of things:

-Something to be casted away
-Willingness to cast it away
-Doing something about it.

Fishermen cast their nets into the water, and cast their reel as well. Why cast? because everytime they do, the hope to get something in return.

Hope to get something…the verse doesnt say that if icast my cares to Jesus, i can hope that he’ll care for me. NO, Jesus said that He will care for me! –IF im willing to cast my cares upon him.

Am i willing to cast my cares? not all the time. How come this is a win-win situation and im not claiming it? i should be the biggest dumbo in the planet! who wouldnt want to get rid of their troubles in exchange for peace?

I think that i need to learn to trust God more. That past day i wrote about God’s unfailing love. But how come i find it so hard to trust in him then if i have to make certain decisions? I want to be like peter. He stepped out of the boat and cast his fears into the water in exchange for God’s hand. Yes, he had a 50/50 time, but God was true to his word and tooke care of Peter. I want that kind of faith. I need that kind of faith.

Cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you. Beautiful. If i unload all my cares to deo (can you imagine unloading everuthing to nicole? hehe) , or my family, sasabog sila. theyll grow tired of me and eventually leave me alone to face my problems. but not God! pray for me as i try to seek God everyday of my life, and so that i can renew my trust in him.

Thanks bro! i think this would still fall on your theme….continue to live in God!

“so if we continue to live in Him, we wont sin either. but those who keeps on sinning have never known him or understood who he is” – 1 john 3:6 (NLT)

my first reaction was shock. the version in the blackaby website goes “Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him.” i felt alarmed agad. i sin all the time! thank God for different bible versions.

thank you also Lord for the timing of this verse. had i read this a few weeks/days back, i wouldve been really troubled and greatly distressed. because i had been falling into sin habitually, to the point that i dont feel guilt anymore – just numbness, blind acceptance to my humanity and inherent stupidity. praise God for saving me from that pit! as i look back, i know i have fallen so deep that it would have been impossible for me to save myself, even if i had exerted all effort and all my will. those were crazy times. praise the Lord. praise you Lord..

now this verse does not condemn me anymore.. but is both a warning and a promise.

the warning: the temptation can strike at any time. deeply rooted habits spring up at the subtlest moments, and in different forms. obvious ones like lust and laziness are easy to spot (but not any less easy to destroy), but subtle ones like pride and apathy just slowly creeps into daily life. it’s right there, be careful, be ready.

the promise: “whoever abides in Him does not sin”. ano kamo? does – not – sin? God is no liar (NO WAY!), nor does He exagerrate. so it must be true! id like to hold you to this promise God..

funny/galing.. same conclusion parin so far after three days:

continue to live in Him!

at this stage in my christian life, i dont have trouble anymore accepting and believing that God loves me. and i say this to my shame. sa dinamidaming beses kong nagkasala, nagkamali at naging tanga – sinasadya man o hindi – mahal niya parin ako. kung iisipin mo nga naman, kung pagigiging martyr sa pag-ibig lang ang paguusapan, wala nang tatalo kay jesus.

“this is real love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as as sacrifice to take away our sins” – 1 john 4:10

what i used to celebrate with unspeakable joy, now brings me to my knees in humility – even sometimes just giving up. “oo na, mahal mo ako.. di maintindihan kung bakit.. at alam kong hindi ko ito kayang palitan o bayaran. kaya sige..” it’s scary. i never realized it before. but i have become almost numb to God’s love.

definitely not God’s fault.

“God is love..” – 1 john 4:16

it’s just who He is, was, and ever will be.

ayaw ko naman na iiwan ako ni God. so one thing remains. Pride. here we go again.

pride kase feeling ko i always do the right thing at hindi ko matanggap na nagkamali nanaman ako. pride kase feeling ko i wont fall into sin or i always make the best decisions at hindi ko matanggap na God had to save my ass nanaman. pride kase feeling ko i can love Him back by doing something out of my own will and strength.

stupid pride.

amazing love.
in spite of stupid pride.

so… if i cant do anything to love you back.. what now Lord?

“since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.. if we love each other, God lives in us, and has been brought to full expression through us” – 1 john 4:11-12

full expression through me?? whoa.

so parang.. wait.. God, intentionally does not give the full amount of love to people? and He leaves it up to His children to complete the full amount? whoa.

labo ni God. well.. He has his ways, and it always works (like leaving behind the most important message in the history of man to 11 fishermen). ayan nanaman siya sa love niya. just when you feel down and low na you cant do anything right, he gives you a superbig assignment and believes na kaya mo siyang gawin. haay.

all i need love. all we need is love. i guess i need to defrost from my coldness. and i am pretty cold to people. i actually am.

“and as we live in God, our love grows more perfect” -1 john 4:17

close with same thought as yesterday’s. live in God.

love grows more perfect. perfect love. i dont have words to express na what im thinking now. pero deep inside alam ko na. as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.

boom.

two verses into my quiet time, and God drops a bomb on me.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out!
Tell others he has saved you from your enemies”
-Psalm 107:1-2

is God good. definitely. all the time. without fail. will never ever fail. his faithful love endures forever.

do i give thanks? of course i do. i say it all the time. when i pray, i always thank God. and i mean it.

pero ano nga naman value of thanking God in the comfort of my own room, in the convenience of my own mind, in the normalcy and sometimes cliche-ish of prayer. although it can serve as a reminder, to develop a habit of thanking God always. its always better naman to hear a thank you, than to hear none at all.

pero nakakabadtrip yung palaging thank you nalang e, for me. thank you nga, pero wala naman nagbago. lip service. kahit na sincere. is still lip service.

“has the Lord redeemed you? then speak out!”

i can almost hear a “anokaba!” somewhere in that verse.

“tell others that He saves.”

has always been a weak point.. among many weak points. i heard from nicole that the message in CCF was about missions, by nathan leigh, certified tear-jerker/convicted-heart daw. i better download it when it goes out next week. pero bakit nga ba di ako nagsshare.

1. sira na image ko sa friends ko.
2. the sense of urgency is not strong enough.
3. strangely, even after the many times ive done it, andyan parin yung kaba.

bad trip talaga yung 1. iba ako when im with non-church friends. although not completely carnal, it still doenst show the kind of person transformed and being renewed by God on a daily basis. well maybe because di naman talaga. i mean, i guess i cant fake it. if i want to act right in the company of my friends, i need to persevere in my growth with God. yun lang talaga pala e. then, at the right time, when God sees me fit, He can use me na. i feel like i have a great message (or lots of great messages) to tell others of the how God has redeemed me time and time again.

break the silence. fart.
kailangan nang ilabas lahat ng baho sa loob.