marco baylon

i find it hard to finish what i start.

maybe its because i lose interest in things so fast and/or find something else to think about. or maybe not, im not that mean/fickle. or maybe i am.

i honestly believe its because of some brain damage of some sort. like a childhood accident of me hitting my head somewhere (i can faintly remember falling off the dinner chair when i was still a toddler). in any case, this so called “brain damage” has led to numerous problems for me, what with losing my passport and travel documents for the 2nd time (or was it the third?) at the same place and in the same way? im sure there are many other happy-accidents, but i cant remember them now.

well the point is, im back.. again. back in japan. back in blogger world.

the whole “i dont finish what i start” came to me after i logged in blogger. gotta love google, they finally decided to merge google and blogger accounts into one. and with a few clicks, i found myself looking at my dashboard page with 9 different blogs from previous accounts. Nine. with an average of 16.25 posts/blog. some blogs have actual meaningful content (quiet time journal), some were supposed to be used as an office worklog (failed miserably), and blogs like this that never seem to stay alive long enough.

so why (attempt to) blog again?

as i said, brain damage. not only has it messed up practical uses of my memory (like, remembering where i mis/place things), it has messed up my actual perception of who i am. i find myself reading old posts, surprised at what i was writing about.. and *how* i write. it sounds like a completely different person.

i remember watching a movie.. well, the first 5mins of it actually, we never got to finish it.. or start it. anyway, the movie, is about a guy with a short term memory problem, who is supposed to be a detective investigating a crime of some sort. he carries with him a polaroid(?) camera all the time so that he can take pictures of things he needs to remember, writes notes on it and sticks it to his wall (or something like that) you can only know so much after watching the first 5mins of a movie.

its supposed to be a popular one, with a nice twist in the end. i remember mikko telling me that his parents love the movie, and has watched it many times already. if anyone knows the title, well… remind me.

so hello, and welcome back (to me).

i realized, that most of the time im not actually sleepy… just lazy.
kaya no matter much coffee i drink, or how much sleep i get.. it would only make me a wide awake lazy ass. its the same reason why i procratinate, kase im lazy. and pride just fuels my laziness kase i would always think na kaya ko naman siyang i-habol anytime. which, in the end, di naman pala. pero grace nalang ni God kung bakit buhay pa ako at may mga opportunities pa akong para bumawi ng mga sablay ko. ewan ko ba. di ata unlimited ang mga chances na to.

i realized, that most of the time im not actually sleepy… just lazy. kaya no matter much coffee i drink, or how much sleep i get.. it would only make me a wide awake lazy ass. its the same reason why i procrastinate – im lazy. and pride just fuels my laziness kase i would always think na kaya ko naman siyang i-habol anytime. which, in the end, di naman pala. pero grace nalang ni God kung bakit buhay pa ako at may mga opportunities pa akong para bumawi ng mga sablay ko. ewan ko ba. im sure di unlimited ang mga chances na to.